Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
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on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
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I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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