Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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