UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
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