i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
