I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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