Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
