I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I pour the whiskey from now on
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