We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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