drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
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