Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
