Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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