Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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