There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
