So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
you mean i was at the winter classic?
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize