Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
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