Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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