i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I cut my penus on the lid.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
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