take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Vodka?
Forever.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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