Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Randomize
