The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
