I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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