My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
