it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
