dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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