dude i'm inner monologue high
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
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And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
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Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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