Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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