The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Randomize
