Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
