bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
