im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
