We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
You're like the curious george of whores
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
