Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
