Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
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