Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
