bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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