If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
My dick has a subreddit
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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