I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
