how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
