worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
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