I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
