he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
