i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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