i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
