I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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