ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
