do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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