no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.