just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
There are leaves in my underwear?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
