So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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