try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
