That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
