WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Randomize
