So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
