I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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