I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
