woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Randomize
