so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
