Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
