I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
